Review: The Set Boundaries Deck
I purchased this deck for my use in my personal life and in pastoral care sessions (note: I am not a licensed counselor). I am not receiving any compensation for this review.
I’ve mentioned
and the incomparable Nedra Glover Tawwab here more than once. Her books Set Boundaries, Find Peace and Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships (which I am currently rereading) have been essential to moving me into true boundary badassery.Of course I had to round out my collection with The Set Boundaries Deck when it released this month. This 100-card deck covers a variety of topics designed to help users have important conversations (alone or with others!) and set or maintain boundaries in any relationship.
The deck is divided into four categories and one Final Card1:
Boundary Basics, explaining key concepts and tools for setting healthy boundaries, including a few opening exercises, mantras, and reminders.
Scenario Cards, presenting examples of the most common types of boundary violations (Emotional, Intellectual, Physical, Material, Sexual, and Time).
Strategy Cards, offering ten ways to set boundaries effectively (Just Say No, Set Conditions, Offer Alternatives, Express Your Needs, State the Boundary Violation, Restate/Refresh Your Boundary, Ask a Question to Redirect, Reduce Your Interactions, Issue a Healthy Ultimatum, and Accept and Let Go). Each card presents several examples of boundary-setting statements or actions.
Conversation Cards, prompting discussion and real-world practice with others.
One Final Card for further reflection.
There is a small fold-out instruction card that outlines what boundaries are and a brief guide to how to use the deck and its categories (again, the descriptions above come from this guide).
Physically, the deck is reasonably compact—larger than a deck of playing cards, but it doesn’t take up much real estate. The cards themselves are gorgeous in their simplicity: bright colors on the back with category descriptions, and clear text on the other side. The colors are what I consider the “Nedra brand” at this point, as both the container and the cards coordinate with the color scheme of the original Set Boundaries, Find Peace book. They’re also a great size—about as large as my hand—making them easy to handle and read.
While I haven’t put the deck through its full paces yet, I took the opportunity to look through the offerings in each category. It’s…lovely. The material obviously comes from the Set Boundaries text, and presented in this format it becomes much easier to focus on specific boundary questions and issues and to work through the deck at a comfortable pace. In a solo setting, I could easily see using the different cards as journaling or meditation prompts for deeper understanding; in a partner or group setting, there is nearly endless possibility for engagement.
Below are examples from each category.2 The blue Boundary Basics cards cover so much ground in learning what boundaries are and how we can implement them, as well as encouragements for self-care and pacing oneself during the process. The yellow Scenario Cards identify what type of boundary violation you’re considering and then offer real examples that help the reader understand what boundary violations actually look like.
Each of the red Strategy Cards covers one of the ten strategies listed above and offers space to create a similar strategy that will work for the reader’s individual context. And the green Conversation Cards are a direct and kind invitation into the specific type of conversation listed, which is itself a solid boundary on that interaction.
Bottom line: I am already in love with this deck, and I couldn’t be happier to add it to my collection. I’ll update this post once I’ve worked through it some more, though I expect it will simply be to add more praise.
You can buy your own copy of The Set Boundaries Deck on Nedra’s website ($25) and, if you must, on the mega-conglomerate site that offers free 2-day shipping ($24.99).
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Descriptions come from the deck’s user guide.
If you want to know what the final card says, you’ll have to buy the deck!